Part Five

             Christopher and I walked down the isles at Blockbuster, looking for something fun to watch over the upcoming weekend. A six-year-old Christopher held my hand and touched every movie he passed with his other hand, moving them all just a little bit. His hand touched a DVD that had a big blue house on the cover, and he grabbed it.

            “Mom can I have this one?” he asked.

            I took the movie and looked at it. The movie was called ‘House’ and on the back it had a zombie hand ringing the doorbell. I knew the movie; it was an old 80’s horror flick. I put it back on a shelf a little higher than Christopher could reach.

            “Sorry baby, it’s a scary movie, it’s not for kids” I said and started walking away from the movie still holding Christopher’s hand.

            “No mom, I want to watch it, please, please, please” Christopher begged.

            “No babe, I said it’s not for kids” and tugged Christopher’s hand to follow me.

           

            “Can I have this movie?” I asked her as we walked through the video store. The movie I held had a doll on the cover. Allot of family gave me porcelain dolls for Christmas and birthdays. I wasn’t allowed to play with them, so they were put on the top shelf in my closet and on a long shelf stretching almost wall to wall in my room. I thought they were pretty.

            “What is it?” She asked. She took the movie from my hand and looked at the picture. There was a porcelain doll on the cover and the doll was holding its own little glass eyes in its hands. The movie title said ‘Dolls’ in bold white letters.

            “No, put it back” She said, and pushed the VHS tape to my chest until I held it in place.

            “Please, I’ll be real quiet and won’t get up from bed” I begged.

            She turned and looked at me. She kneeled down and spoke very close to my face.

            “Fine, get the movie. But you have to watch the whole thing, all of it, ok” She said.          

            I smiled and jumped up and down.

            “Ok, thank you, thank you” I said.

            She smiled at me and stood up taking the movie with her to check out.

            When we got home from the video store and shopping, I raced to my room to change into my nightgown, grabbed my favorite white, pink and purple blanket Grandma Maureen crocheted for me, ran back to the living room and waited on the couch for her to tell me it was ok to put on the movie.

            My dad came in holding the last bag of groceries he brought from the car and saw me waiting on the couch. As he walked passed, he looked down at the movie She had placed on the coffee table. He walked to the kitchen where She was putting the boxes, cans, and vegetables away.

            “Are you going to let her watch that?” He asked.

            “Since when do you have an opinion about anything?” She said and turned away from him.

            My dad looked at me for a moment, I had turned around on the couch and was watching them talk through the fish tank glass; I smiled through the passing koi. He made a half smile put the grocery bags down on the floor and walked back outside to smoke.

            I turned back around and sat quietly. I put my fingers through the crochet stitches of the blanket with both hands, so it looked like I was wearing fingerless gloves.

            My dad came back in the house after a while and went to his bedroom. She finished putting the groceries away and came in the living room to put the movie on.

            “I don’t want to hear a peep out of you ok” She said “Watch the whole movie and leave me and your dad alone. Go straight to bed when it’s over, got it.”

            “Got it” I answered.

            She pushed the VHS tape in the VCR, pushed play and turned the TV on. She turned the lights out in the living room and kitchen and went down the hall to her bedroom.

            I sat in blue light waiting until the tape slowly changed the screen from blue to black to the red rating screen.

            When the movie was finally over, I sat there petrified. My blanket was over my head and my feet were tucked in under me. The dolls moved, walked, their eyes would follow you and they would stab you with their little knives. Punch the Clown was the worst, with his long scary nose and hat that jingled when he walked. My heart was beating so fast. I needed to go use the bathroom for the last half hour but was too scared to put my feet on the floor.

            I had to get up before the credits ended and the room turned black. I jumped up and ran to the entry room light switch, slipping and sliding on floor in my socks. I turned the light switch on and felt a little braver. I went to the TV and VCR and turned them both off. I went to the couch and grabbed my blanket and let it trail behind me as I walked to the dining room. I turned the dining room light on and walked back to the entry way light to turn that light off.

            I went from the dining room light to the hall, to my bedroom. Turning one light on and going back to turn the previous light off. My bedroom light was a tricky one. The light switch was by the door and my bed was on the far side of the room. I closed my bedroom door, balled up my blanket and threw it as hard as I could to my bed.

            I got into running position and had my hand on the light switch and waited for the right moment. My heart raced, there was never a right moment. I turned the light off and ran to the middle of the room and made a flying leap to my bed and landed with a bounce that shook the bed posts.

            I made it. Nothing touched me, nothing grabbed me. I scooted myself under the blankets and pulled them over my head then revealed my eyes. I still had to use the bathroom. It was too late; I was already in bed and was not going back out there. I will hold it till tomorrow. I closed my eyes and tried hard to think of my favorite movie, The little Mermaid. I fell asleep thinking about turning into a fish and swimming away.

            My bedroom light was on and shined in my face. I opened my eyes and sat up in bed trying to focus. I sat up and looked around, no one was in my room but me. I looked at the floor. Standing in a half circle around my bed were all the porcelain dolls from the shelf and closet. I stared wide eyed and screamed and screamed and screamed, my bed got warmer as I peed.

            She opened the door and stood there laughing so hard She was doubled over.

            “You should see your face” She laughed so loudly.

            I sat there crying “Help me!” I cried, “Help me, they are going to get me!”

            She leaned against the wall and was just laughing at me.

            My dad came into the room and saw what happened. He looked at me then at her but didn’t say anything. He picked up the dolls and threw them one by one into the closet and closed the door.

            “Do you think it’s going to matter that you are coming to the rescue now?” She yelled at him, “She doesn’t even know who you are, just a dumb fuck who comes here to eat”.

            He walked past her and went into his room slamming the door.

            “Oh he’s mad now,” She laughed, “Don’t think he gives a shit about you Meg. He’s just mad because he got woken up”.

            She turned the light off and shut the door.

            I sat there crying, scared and wet. I tried to calm myself down and understand what happened.

            ‘She did it’ I thought, ‘She put the dolls there, they didn’t move by themselves, it was her. It’s always her’.

            I took the blankets off and looked at the dark wet spot on the bed. I got up from the bed but didn’t turn the light on and walked to the dresser. I could hear them yelling through the walls. I opened the top drawer and took out clean underwear and a new nightgown. I took off the dirty clothes and left them on the floor and put the dry clothes on. I went back to my bed and made it up so the blankets would cover the wet spot. I grabbed Grandma Maureen’s blanket and climbed on the bed, covering myself with it, tucking it under my feet and coving my head completely.

“I’m never going to play with dolls again,” I thought.

After that night if I got a doll as a gift, I would get them and tie them up and throw them in my closet so they couldn’t get me.

 

                        Christopher eyed the movie case as we turned the corner to another isle and he looked up at me. With his free hand Christopher put his middle and ring finger down on his palm and shot me with imaginary spider webs. He did that from time to time when I did something he didn’t like, or he didn’t get his way.

            “Ok Christopher, lets pick a movie we both like and I’ll get you two candies” I bargained “How does that sound?”

            “Two!! Yeah!” Christopher yelled.

            I took Christopher to the bin where they kept all their movie theater candy and let him push the boxes around while he chose.

            ‘I am stronger than her,’ I thought to myself.           

            Christopher held up two boxes. “Can I get three candies mom?” he asked.

“Two is more than enough, babe” I said.