She - Part Two

 

“Who wants to play hide and seek in the dark?” I asked the boys.

Christopher and Michael shouted with excitement at the same time “Yeah!!”

            “With flashlights” Michael said as he began to run and turn off the lights in the house.

            “No flashlights” Christopher responded while he shut the blinds and curtains.

            “Michael, how about when you are ‘it’ you can use a flashlight and until then you can hide with me?” I asked, “It defeats the purpose of you knowing your way around the house in the dark if you need a flashlight. Sometimes emergencies don’t give you the time to look for a flashlight.”

            “That works” said Michael relived to not be in the dark alone.

            Michael is 8 now and is scared of the dark. I try to be practical about it, but there isn’t much that I can do. I never grew out of my own fear of the dark.

            “Alright Christopher you’re it, count to 20” I said and grabbed Michael by the hand to hide.

            I pulled Michael along behind me and he tried to match my pace and was doing his best to keep his steps and breathe as quiet as possible.

            “Here” I said, as we turned the corner and entered the bathroom. “You are the perfect size you can fit right under the bathroom sink and Chris will never think to look for you there. He will see me in the tub hiding and walk right past you, a perfect distraction”

            “Awesome mom, good idea”

            I sat on the floor and quickly opened the cabinet doors and began to push items to the wall. Michael crept inside and I closed the door behind him.

 

            “I need you to go to the store and pick up some milk for Megs breakfast tomorrow” She said.

            “Why couldn’t you have called me before I got home, I just took off my boots?” My dad questioned back.

            “Can you just go, I remembered now OK, just go and come back. Do you not want Meg to eat breakfast...That’s fine with me” She responded.

            I stayed seated on the couch looking at the TV in the living room, pretending to still be watching The Simpsons but caught my dad’s eye.

            “Alright, alright, I’ll be right back” he said.

            He walked back to the front door where his boots where left. Still warm, he put them back on, grabbed his keys from the entry table and stepped out the front door, closing it behind him.

            She walked up to me and took my hand and pulled me up from the couch to my feet.

            “Let’s go” She said.

            “Where are we going?” I asked.

            “Nowhere”

            I followed her hurried pace from the living room, past the dining room and into the dark hall. She turned to the hall bathroom and switched the light on. She dropped to her knees and opened the cabinet under the sink. The bathroom sink stretched from wall to wall and the cabinet space matched it, it was easily 8 feet long. She began pushing all the items that were under the sink to the far-left side of the cabinet and close to the wall. When the space was empty enough, She climbed in. She arranged herself comfortably and used a towel as a pillow.

            “Turn off the light and come in with me,” She said, “hurry, before he comes back.”

            I switched the light off and slide into the space next to her, closest to the cabinet doors. Once I was fully inside, She reached over me and closed the cabinet door, leaving us in the dark.

            “We are going to play a trick on dad,” She said, “When he comes back, he will look for us and you will be as quiet as you can. I don’t even want to hear you breathe, is that understood.”

            “Yes, OK” I said.

            We laid there in the dark. The wood felt cool and the air smelled like the Snuggle fabric softener She used for the towels. I laid on my left side and used my arm to keep my head from being on the hard wood of the cabinet floor. I can hear her breathing behind me and feel her exhale on the top of my head. I hate how She smells. I started to smell her breath. Always bitter like the bottles She hid behind my snacks in the cupboard. Her smell started to surround me and I hate that I have to breathe that same air.

            Her body is touching mine. I can’t stand it. The tip of her elbow is resting on the back of my head, pushing slightly. I can feel the length of her pinky finger touching my shoulder blade where her hand rests on the wood we lay on. Her legs are curved in slightly at an angle and her knees are touching the back of my calves. Her body warmth is making sweat form on the top of my lip under my nose and I want to reach and wipe it off. All I can think of is ‘don’t touch me, don’t touch me’ but I can’t move. If I move, She will say something mean, threaten or hurt me. So, I stay quiet and scream as loudly as I can inside my head for her to get away from me. My breathing starts to escalate.

            “You better knock it off, if you are trying to make yourself have an asthma attack. You’re not using your puffer right now” She said, “Why can’t you just breathe like a normal kid?”

She used her elbow and pushed it harder into the back of my head and I laid there unmoving. The pressure of her skin touching mine made my skin crawl. The small pain of her elbow at my head made me angry. In the dark and with me turned away from her I could make faces. I made the worst faces I could make. I scrunched my eyes closed and wrinkled my nose tight till it hurt. I pursed my lips together hard and gnashed my teeth and stopped breathing completely. ‘Don’t touch me!’ I screamed in my head.

“I don’t care if you stop breathing” She said. “Do you think anything will change if you stop breathing? Do you think anyone will care? You will just pass out here and I will leave you under the sink. Go ahead, stop breathing. You’re doing me a favor”.

I relaxed my face and let out my breath slowly. I let my eyes fill with tears and felt the tug in my chest and the familiar lump in my throat. ‘Moms aren’t supposed to be like this, this isn’t right, something is wrong with you’ I thought.

I heard the front door open and close.

She grabbed my face hard and covered my mouth with her hand, pulling my head tightly backwards onto her chest.

‘Don’t touch me!’ I screamed in my head.

Footsteps came closer and went past the bathroom down the hall. I heard the bedroom doors open and close. After a few seconds the footsteps came back towards the bathroom. The bathroom light turned on and I heard the bathroom door open wide and lightly touch the bathtub. Footsteps came into the bathroom fully and I heard the shower curtain being pushed to one side. The shower hooks scraping the metal of the rod holding it up.

Her hand gripped tighter over my mouth. I breathed in the smell of her hand. Her hands smelled of the lemon dish soap in the kitchen and something else. Something spoiled, something musky, something rotten. It was her own natural smell of skin. Her own live flesh smelled like rot to me, because She was evil. I shut my eyes and wished the evil that was inside her to rot her from the inside out and She would turn into a zombie and fall apart.  

The footsteps left the bathroom and made their way back towards the living room. I heard the front door open and close.

She let go of my face and wiped her hand down my arm.

“Get out” She said.

I pushed the cabinet door open and pulled myself onto the cold linoleum floor. I scooted away towards the bathtub to give her room to climb out of the cupboard. She pulled her long body out of the cabinet like Medusa; using her arms to crawl forward and drag her legless snake-like body behind her. She freed herself from the cabinet and got to her feet.

“Wash your filthy face, you’re disgusting” She wiped both of her hands on her shorts repeatedly. “Go sit on the couch where you were.” She said, “and if you say one fucking word to your dad I will knock the shit out of you, do you understand? You keep your mouth shut, don’t even look at him”.

“Ok” I stammered.

She left the bathroom and I walked to the sink. I ran the cold water and rinsed my hands. I splashed the water onto my flushed face. I wanted to wash my whole body under the cold water to get her air and her smell off of me. I turned off the water and grabbed the hand towel. I dried my hands and put my face in the towel and held it there. I breathed in the smell of Snuggle and stifled a sob.

“I hate you” I said into the towel.

I put the towel back, turned off the light and went back to watch TV on the couch. The Simpsons was over. I just sat there on the couch trying to figure out what happened and why?

The front door opened, and my dad walked through.

“Where were you guys?” He asked out loud. “I looked all over, I was getting worried, what happened?”

“What you are talking about, “She said.

“You, you and Meg left. Where did you go?”

“You are out of your mind, we didn’t go anywhere, you did. You just left to get milk, what’s wrong with you?”

“No, well, yes, I left but I came back, and you guys were gone”

“You just got back now, and we are here. What are you talking about?”

They went back and forth bickering and arguing about who was home and when. The bickering got louder and began to turn into a yelling match. A plate was thrown at my dad. I heard it shatter against the dining room wall. I stood up from the couch, scared to looked at him. He was still in his boots and he walked through the broken glass towards her. I got up quickly and went to my room, laid down in my bed, closed my eyes tight, covered my ears with my hands and tried to sleep.

 

A flashlight shined in my face and I blinked away. I was still sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor.

“Hey, you were supposed to hide” Christopher said disappointed.

“I tried but I couldn’t find a place in time, I’m sorry”

“Well help me find the boy then”

“Sure”

I stood up from the floor and followed Christopher and began to call Michaels name like I didn’t know where he was hiding. As I followed Chris I began to hug myself and realized I was incredibly hot and sweaty. I walked to the kitchen and splashed water on my face. I felt my eyes fill with tears but instead of a cry I vomited in the kitchen sink.

“Are you ok mom?” Chris asked

“Yes, I just got a little warm I guess.” I grabbed a paper towel and dried my face quickly. I rinsed out my mouth and the vomit in the sink and ran the garbage disposal for a second with the running water. I shook the feeling of that woman’s breathe on me, from my head. I shook my head from side to side like there was a buzzing fly in my face and the thoughts left me.

Chris shined the light close to me so he could see my face.

“You sure you’re ok?” he asked

“Yes, I’m good and you know what?” I asked

“What?” Chris looked at me worried.

“You’re never going to find him” I laughed

“We’ll see about that” Chris grinned and began looking for Michael again.

“Come out, come out, you little snot rocket” Chris yelled through the house.